I can never be a good bf.

Just quarreled with gf because I always go out and leave no time for her. When I share my experience with her...she just feel I don't care of her.. I don't know if i should ask for a break...since the initial intention for me is...2 ppl together happy..den together lo. Not happy..den...let it go lo...
Since we couldn't make it, why not just break the bond, and everyone will be happy again. If not happy, at least won't be hurt.

Maybe i'm too selfish, most of the time i think of myself. Since i so suck...just let it go lo...open ur mouth...i sure agree d. I dun like to torture people mentally. If let go..it might hurts...but, it'll be better than we're wasting our time here.

However, i still hope everything goes well.....

today got feel!!~

just wanna let everyone who hurts me before know... i never hated all of u. No matter how big the scar is... it'll never be more important than our friendship. Maybe, I may hate u for awhile, or maybe lau gai, it just won't last long, cuz i can't do it.... i hate myself in this way actually, being hurt and go agian..like a dumbass =.=

But well, it shows u mean something, when i first admited u as my friend, nothing gonna change anymore.... so my friends, don't be so afraid of me at ur words or actions, i don't wanna ppl fear me..=(

and to those who once accompanied me, greatly appreciate ur existance. =)
H1N1 has landed to Malaysia..everyone take good care of yourself..and your family. Don't let it ruin the hapiness u're having it.

I'll stop here today. Will try to post in chinese start from next post =) I'm a CHINESE!! YUHOO~~~hey hey u u , i don't wanna be a banana~~

exam! 10 more days!!

it's been a long time since i last blogged. Finally a short break, I did quite badly in my first paper( everyone does so)..coz the paper is like..so freaking hard =.= not enough time to think at all!
then today just finished second paper..i think it's easy..but i hope i din got trick ..haha

These few days...keep talk to my coursemates... We talk about future. About what we gonna become..instead of studies. Studies is just a small little part in life..HELL YEAH! but at least dun fail that shit! My mind keep thinking about post-exam activities..really hope to play kau kau. The best part is..i din look for intership or part-time job..gonna goyang kaki at home for 4 months!! muahahaha

next paper will be on monday, den friday, den saturday!~ i can't think of a reason why they wanna put it on saturday, but anyway..some1 suggested to go clubbing, will consider about it.
Exam is keeping me away from being emo.. really "hmm dak han" lor... consequences of skipping classes or sleep in class~~ learning new things instead of revision.

so..Let's countdown for my summer break!! YUHOO~~ T minus 10~

IT"S WEEKENDS!! nah...today is tuesday lah

haha, well, since i have one follow of this blog... i got to say something about it!!
The previous week, 3 assignments in a week ..WTF really...busy till no time to emo jo.
What it come next is...weekends! The first weekends of my study break. Well..first thing to do...arrange those notes.... this is probably the second time i seeing them, cause right after i get it..i throw it aside..haha
These days, many ppl would just contact me just for the sake of RC... fuck..I'm quitting it soon la... don't take game so seriously la dude..=.= But with the kindness within me, i helped them la...since most of them oso quite leng lui....but dun have cute girl keh...sien lo!!
Oh yea, i made a quiz in facebook, about how much u know about sau liang gan blah blah...
Quite many ppl took it.....unexpectly..i tot i was so insignificant...haha.
Gayly none of them get it all right, I actually said to myself..whoever got it all right gotta get something from me..maybe a meal? or just watever la..haha...
These week yanz talked to me about his gf's stuff. Alright, things started like this... i intro-ed this girl to him...they so met the first time. not exactly intro-ed to him oso la.. my commerce friends are all girls, my mechanical friends all boys...i just trying to balance the hormone. So...afterthat, that girl go china study le...so they can't meet anymore right?
When that girl back from china..they 2 got 2gether...=.= use msn oso can together le..geng chao lo! I think they 2 also play play oni de la...not so serious lo...but watever la..i don't wanna care aledi...this yanz still ask me help him.
So erm, i talked to su yi about it lo..since those girl last time same gang 1..talking halfway..this joanne 10 years nvr msg me..suddenly come msg me, coz i ask yanz to advise her to take initiative to chat with others else she come back sure cham ady 1.

Must be Yanz told her lo... c me heart soft wan come "DO" me first. Well, if she ever recalls, who treated her best last time when she's in malaysia campus? But after wat she did, i had real dissapointments, i tried to give her second chance..but i feel this friendship is so fake le....macam meaningless. And the main prob is i dun wan be orang tengah la...u two geh prob sendiri kenot solve meh.... wan me ask help u make friend... They aledi my friend mah...is You suppose to approach them..not me lo...=.=

But anyway, i started to backup my life in next sem aledi lo. I don't want alwiz stick to the same ppl, i joined club and be a comitee alone.. Yeah, i practically dunno anyone there =.= But i dunno how the hell they noticed me be4. I think i'm recovering from missing someone who went to aus ady... now i got abit feel wanna go kai kai ady^^

Talk about that girl who went aus, really kik sao. I helping quite some ppl solve their problems, but mine?? NO solution keh... i can sit there and wait die nia... nah jk... i gonna wait till she come back la! For now i think it worths la..rather than i have a gf..den she come back liao...den how o? i dun wanna hurt anyone lo..

LOL...everything in this world connects..talk about hurting anyone... That yanz say... I choose her because i think she is "cheap" so i have my freedom even i pak tor with her. I asked him, if u found a better one leh? Fei her lo =.=

He sumore advise me to do so....say i dun have gf be4 my observation time too long. I tell him, i not like u lo... i kenot play play de >.< Coz in the end i think will hurt myself more la...i go in so deep everytime.

Let's see, recently chat with a girl who's studying Flight attendance. Wow...really quite leng lui 1 lo..in future sure many ppl chase!! Maybe will intro to my leng zai friends la...since not my cup of tea oso =(

And to my friends... i alwiz intro leng luis to u all...why u all nvr intro cute girls to me geh..ZZzzzZz

ok la..quite late ady...with my typing speed really creating noise pollution lo..
i'll stop here and continue study!!
Dear fluids mechanics i'm coming!! muakz~

it's weekends again!!

guess my mood gets better already, maybe i'm used to life like this. Weekdays are too busy to bother about emo stuff..LOLX! tons of assignments A!!!!

well, today went movie with housemates in MV and i bought a necklace for kimmy as i'm going for her party on sunday.

i dunno how long nvr buy present myself alraedy, everytime oso pay money and others do the job..haha

i chose a necklace, quite lovely i guess =)

inside got a white flower, it's made of glass. I wonder kimmy will appreciate this art anot..keke.

12/4

yea..i guess i will blog everyweek.
my feelings this week, hmm..kinda good i guess, still getting used to it.
I feel in love with a song of 动力火车 named 愛上你不如爱上海.
really got feel lo... i guess i'm emo all these while because i'm still single?
the sad case is... i nvr met someone suitable for me..even i do..she'll not be around me.
sometimes i really wondered, am i really that bad? or my yuan fen is not here yet?

i starting living infront of pc, in the world of internet again. this weekend i never contacted any friends, just merely online and online. furthermore, all the people i chatting with is my net friend.

some time before this, i'm trying to hard to get away with life infront of Pc..because i know in the end, this is not bringing me to anywhere...i'm just spending all my time with my net friends. This will make me a person who's only not lonely when i'm online, and if something happened to my internet, i would die. I tried not to be that type of person, but i guess...fated, i just can't get over with it.

summer break is coming soon, i'm sort of hoping it to come soon, at the same time i worried.. wat would i do in that long 4 months summer break? >"< i've thought of looking for a part time, i've nvr worked for anyone else other than family business. Maybe i should learn to c ppl's 脸色 , in that way i will grow into a better person in future and ease me in looking for job in future.

i havent replied kimmy's birthday invitation, actually i would like to attend, but...i dunno..really dunno...... guess i'm getting emo again.

today i gonna talk about one of my net friend, vandy. She appeared at the right time, at times where i really need someone to listened to. We cheers each others, support each other... i kind of like her attitude and characteristic, and curious to know how she will be in real life, afterall, i only see wat she typed and not hearing her voice. Maybe someday when i feels right, i would ask her out...maybe......and of coz..hoping not rejected. i just can't stand anyone rejecting me...i will feel very down.. >"<

hmm.guess i shall continue on my assignments, busy week ahead =) tataz, no1 gonna read this anyway, just myself..=p

Weekends....

it's been so long ago...i can't even recall when i start doing this. Basically it's like this, before this, i hang out with friends almost every weekend when i'm back to pj. Then i have this thought in my head, how much i actually mean to others. So, i've decided not to ask anyone out but waiting others to ask me out. And the results is...i only went out with titin for this whole month. Yea...it's really sad, but still...it's truth and i got to accept it.

And...my leng leng...i feel i'm so far away from her now.. ever since i ffk-ed her the last time during her hols. Well..actually not i ffk exactly, because she didn't comfirm the time with me, and didn't try to contact me even i didn't turn out..else i'll surely be there man. and yah...she doesn't trust me, but still she said she always treat me as her gor gor.. I've been giving her all the support i can and tried hard to be close with her..but i think i failed. So, it comes to the conclusion, i'm really tired for all these.. i not gonna purposely treat a person good now..but let destiny decide it.

And now...my heng dai aka kimmy, she just got her new bf now~~ prob coz i din turn up the last hiking which i promised her. Well, but i still happy for her..and hope that is really a good guy.

watelse.. esther liew... yah... this girl hor...very bad 1. That day her birthday i wanna celebrate with her..she say yin not going so let's wait for the next time. Then i ask her to wait herself slowly lo... i feel too insignificant once again, so the next time she asked her out..i actually didn't turn up.. not because i don't care..but..i guess i really can't stand it anymore..

next next...doreen~ argh...miss her so much la..my buddy wei!! i think she's one of the good girl i met in my life...need thank wan jinn la..for intro-ing. But, she actually left me and went aus to study, now i got heart prob oso dunno wan tell who lor..so miss her >.<

su yi~ erm...eversince doreen left and her bf went aus, i feel that i'm not close to her anymore. Everytime i ask her out she tell me dun wan...gek sei me.. i oso lazy talk to her. But...she's once an important person in my life..so even lazy talk to her...also have to lar when she sees me..xD.
no la...i actually still cared for her, but... i'll only be there when she look for me...since she wanna put more effort in her studies and hide in room to chat with her bf.

All the names mentioned above are those ppl i wish to hang out with actually... and none of them is there for me...all out of my expectation. I feel really lonely and moody... perharps i should start joining more uni's event so that i can know more new peoples....

I'm really tired...i hope to reset...go to a place where nobody knows me....and start a new life